Work Relationships Need Nurturing

Have you ever experienced love for your job but not for your co-workers?  It's funny because sometimes it's your co-workers who make you love your job.  And, other times you may love your work but your feelings may not be as strong for the people you work with. Surely we all experience conflict, tension and frustration with our co-workers from time-to-time.  But what about the times when you know there are real personality conflicts.  Even worse, what do you do when you are constantly bumping heads with a  co-worker or one person rubs your the wrong way all of the time.

I wish I had a magical answer for you that could make all of your co-worker blues go away.  However, co-worker conflict, regardless of how small, is a reality of all work places.  I think it's more important to learn how to manage these situations than run from them or cut off relationships.  Foremost, co-worker relationships must be handled with gentleness because your actions and what people say about you catch up to you and speak volumes for your people skills and professionalism.

I have worked at several companies since high school and I haven't always been able to avoid conflict or tension with my co-workers.  Sometimes conflict is unavoidable.  Instead of trying to avoid conflict or pretending it doesn't exist I acknowledge my feelings about co-workers and follow four key strategies.  First, I keep lines of communication open.  If you can not communicate with someone, you can not work with them either.  If work doesn't get done, someone is going to be held responsible.  Second, I remain personable and open to small-talk.  Everyone is not going to be your best friend, but looking at everyone as your enemy is not helpful either.  If people can't say they like you, at least they can say you are a decent and personable human being who says hello in the morning and bless you when someone sneezes.  Third, I look for opportunities to mend broken relationships and clear up misunderstandings.  Life is all about relationships and that includes the workplace.  Extending forgiveness and trying to establish functional relationships will add to the quality of your work experience and others.  Last but not least, I don't return and eye for an eye.  Sometimes in order to stop a vicious cycle of tension you have to break it by extending grace and not returning rudeness or backstabbing.  Just because someone else chooses to be immature, petty or is driven by their insecurities doesn't mean you have to respond in the same manner.

Giving it your all

Effort.  A little word with huge meaning.  Work requires effort.  And, most of the time effort brings about results and rewards.  But what do you do when you feel that your effort is getting you no where?  Despite your best efforts, you find that your performance is waning or you are not content with your current situation. 

My only answer to this question is: push harder.  You have to be very careful how you handle yourself when you feel discontent, disillusioned and lost in the workplace.  This is not the time to withdraw and stop putting your best foot forward.  This is really the time to press forward and try harder.

I know this is easier said than done.  In essence, maintaining a consistent level of effort in your work and daily life takes personal management skills.  You must train yourself how to respond emotionally to negative situations.  Just think, how did you respond the last time a co-worker rubbed you the wrong way?  When you practice effective personal management, you become tuned in to to your pressure points and take a mind over matter approach to rough times.

Progress will never be made if tough situations force you to stop trying - effort.  Learn how to relieve your stress, be patient with your co-workers, and ride out the dry seasons.  Sometimes time heals all things effortlessly.  Keep your efforts strong at work, the rewards and results will come in due time. 

Manage your career by managing your time

Do you make good use of your time at work and personally?  In todays market being intelligent and having strong interpersonal skills are not enough to get ahead.  Today's professional must know how to accomplish a lot of things with little time.  This means that the new "soft skill" you need to succeed is time management.

In fact, time management and career advancement go hand-in-hand.  Why?  Because, in order to advance your career you must set goals.  In order to accomplish your goals you must set deadlines.  And, in order to meet your deadlines you have to manage your time well.

Time management doesn't mean living a rigid life full of schedules and check lists.  In my opinion, time management is very personal.  You have to decide for yourself what tools and techniques work to keep you focused and on schedule.  More important, managing time well means being aware of time stealers.

Time stealers are those little activities in your day that distract your from the important tasks.  For a few it's surfing the net, for some it's too much TV and for others it's texting.  Do you notice the trend?  Time stealers are fun!  Chances are if they were boring we wouldn't allow them to steal our time.

With four months left in the year, it's time to re-evaluate how you manage your TIME.  Eliminate the time stealers from your day.  If they can't be eliminated, place boundaries on them so that you are in control.  Your career advancement depends on your time management.

The world is flat and so is your career

In 2005 Thomas Friedman wrote a bestselling book called The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century.  In essence the book explains that globalization has changed the way we do business forever.  Wikipedia explains "The title is a metaphor for viewing the world as a level playing field in terms of commerce, where all competitors have an equal opportunity...[and] also alludes to the perceptual shift required for countries, companies and individuals to remain competitive in a global market."

So today I assert, not only is the world flat, your career is flat too.  You can be anything you want to be and do anything you want to do.  And the real beauty is whenever you are ready to make a change and move on to something new, you can.  I know the talk of all this change may sound scary to some.  But, indulge me for a moment and embrace the world of today which is constantly changing.  We no longer watch TV in black and white, so why do we often feel that our careers paths are one dimensional and we are on one career journey for the rest of our lives.  Live life in color.  Better yet, live life in high defintion. 

It just occurred to me the other day - the best epiphany I have had in a while.  I can accomplish all of my dreams, I can be everything I want to be.  The key is piecing together my dreams and aspirations like a puzzle to create my own master piece.  It's okay to play different roles and it's okay to let certain areas go and move onto others.  Moving on doesn't mean failure, it means you've accomplished what you set out to do and now it's time for the next challenge.

Start seeing your world as flat.  Stop watching your life go by in black and white.  Move on, close some doors and open some new ones.  Experience all that a flat world has to offer.  We all know that high definition looks better anyway.  Start piecing your puzzle together today.  Know that you are a dynamic person, your world is flat, and as in the words of Southwest Airlines, YOU ARE NOW FREE TO MOVE ABOUT THE COUNTRY!

Careers and seasons

Careers are like mother nature...they go through seasons.  There is the winter where everything seems dry and cold.  Then the spring where little signs emerge that you are on the right track.  Next comes summer--it's hot--but a good hot which indicates you are on fire.  And, then there is fall.  A time when things are not so cold and not so hot.

I've found that fall is the hardest season of them all.  Why? Because you can easily mistake it for winter and make a wrong move too soon.  Or, you can mistakenly think that your still in summer and not realize that you are no longer on fire!  It all depends on the temperature.  To me, this is the worse.  As a member of Gen Y, trying to distinguish between staying and going, trying and not trying is all very frustrating and confusing.

I guess the good thing is that without fail, seasons pass.  And the fall season that we all find ourselves in sometimes will also pass.  Whether it's our personal or professional lives, the atmosphere around us never stays stagnant.  We can embrace this change, just like we do the seasons, or we can resist it.  When winter comes, we put on  coat.  When spring comes we carry an umbrella.  When summer comes we put on shades.  But when fall comes we resist.  Why is this?  Why is it that when fall approaches we never know what to do?  Do we wear a jacket or not?  Are shorts okay?  What about sandals and open toe shoes?  Fall seems to breed confusion in us all.

Well, I think I have the answer.  No, I can't change the seasons.  And, I definitely don't want to resist them.  Who can resist mother nature?  What I can do is flow with the seasons and take them day-by-day.  If it's hot I will wear shorts.  If it's chilly, I will wear a jacket.  And, that's just how we have to approach our work life sometimes.  If it's cold and bitter, cover up.  If it's hot and sweaty, dress light.  The next time we find ourselves in a fall-like season at work life, let's do ourselves a favor and just take it day-by-day!